Washington, D.C. - This morning, at 8:57 AM EST, David Johnsons put 3 --- count them --- 3 packs of Swiss Miss powdered hot chocolate in his morning hot chocolate.Such gluttonous consumption of Swiss Miss is a new level for the human race.
When asked to comment on such a maniacal act - "No remorse" - was all Johnsons had to say.
"I've never seen such reckless disregard by a living being before," says eye-witness Dave M from finance.
"And now people are talking about how 'Dave' put 3 packets of Swiss Miss in his hot chocolate. David J! Not Dave M! I can't be associated with that level of anarchy."
The local public health department was notified by the office staff of the wild and crazy Dave who put three packets of Swiss Miss in his hot chocolate. They immediately dispersed all available units for damage control.
An initial report speculates that Johnsons is or at least believes himself to be Count Chocula. Given each Swiss Miss packet contains as much calcium as an 8 oz. glass of milk, the CDC has issued publications on the dangers of calcium deposits in anticipation of copycats.
God help us all.
