UTAH - Days. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!
For decades people have made claims that days are not long enough. Many people have taken up formal complaints with their computer monitors and spouses about the lack of time they seem to possess. But scientists in Utah have just discovered that there is exactly the right amount of time in a day.
"Some people might feel like their days go by too quick, so they think they have less total time in their day than they would like," says Utah resident Karl Malone.
The scientists recorded and studied an entire day of 200 participants' lives in a recent study that lasted 24 hours. Their results were astonishing. John Stockton, the Principal Investigator of the project, has provided us the recap:
"We double-blinded the participants and how their day was to be measured. The result was 100 observed occurrences of day duration equaling 1440.00 minutes, and 100 equaling 86400.00 seconds (SD=0.0, V=0.0). Then we compared our findings with Wikipedia's definition of a day , and it turned out to be accurate. There was in fact enough time in their days."
With any major scientific breakthrough comes the harsh realization of what's really reality.
"Realistically, we know we have
enough time, we just don't want to deal with the fact that we aren't managing our time to our contentment. Our anxiety and stress lead us to hyperbolize our own inadequacies, using days as the scapegoat. Our should I say, scape-day! Ha!" believes Utah social scientist Jeff Hornacek.
Pneumonia!? It had complications with his what?! Sarcoidosis?! What the h-e-double hockey sticks is that?
