Annual Bias and Stereotype Conference plans to create new fun stereotypes

AUSTIN, TEXAS - Mexicans are landscapers ... elephants are afraid of mice ... black people like fried chicken and grape drink

We have all encountered these stereotypes, which perpetuate old and tired images. They have fueled an epidemic of bad movies, ignorant people, and awkward silences. Now one group sets to put an end to it.

"We need an entirely new lexicon of stereotypes. And we plan to fight nonsense with nonsense," barks Buckwheat Germasterson, the Chairman of the Annual Bias and Stereotype Conference. The latter part of his comment being the new mission of the organization - Fighting Nonsense with Nonsense. "We want our new stereotypes to make very little sense and we want them to spread like germs."

Stereotypes that are up for nomination include: "Mexicans love trampolines", "Gay people are deadly with silly string" and "White people are the worst gum chewers".
With enough marketing power, the Annual Bias and Stereotype Conference believes they can make these and many other stereotypes stick.

"In past conferences we just watched episodes of Mind of Mencia and House of Payne until our eyes bled. We were lulled into a hibernation of contentment. We now realize how terrible television and daily humor have gotten in terms of tired stereotypes."

Gallup polls indicate that more people than ever (68%) identify themselves as tired of contemporary stereotypes, while the rest identified as "What stereotypes?" (20%), or thrilled (12%). These numbers have been shifting steadily for the last 20 years, with a three year "hick-up" during the Blue Collar Comedy Tour's popularity height.

"It's time to wake up you drunken Irishmen" says Germasterson.  "Oh right, sorry about that." The conference this weekend has an extensive list of presenters who have prepared what they believe to be the great new stereotypes of tomorrow. And with their help hopefully we can get people to believe in not wearing flannel before Flag Day, that homeless people only use money for animal crackers, and women only want to steal your nose and eat it.

The Annual Bias and Stereotype Conference is being held this weekend at a nameless diner in Austin, Texas starting Saturday at 9 am, but the Arabs won't show up until 10 or so. Submissions to the Annual Bias and Stereotype Conference are encouraged.