Internet Comment Wins Election for Romney

THE INTERWEB MACHINE - With many impending debates, campaign phone calls, and profoundly expensive television spots to come, one man decided to put an end to Election Season early.

On June 21st, 2012 at 9:08 PM, Nikko Nama of Fresno, California commented on an L.A. Times article and changed the fate of the election.

"I have always believed in the freedom of speech. And in the internet age, everyone has a voice. Or at least a keyboard," says campaign expert David Brooks of the NY Times. "But what Nama has done is unprecedented. His comment on the internet was so good it literally won the election."

The L.A. Times post was an interactive map of swing states, which provided commentary and data about each swing state's voting history. The article proved to be a worthy battleground, beckoning a cavalcade of Democratic and Republican angst to duke it out for comment supremacy. But when the HTML-smoke cleared, Nikko Nama was the last man logging off.

"He used caps lock in a way I've never seen before. It emphasized his points so perfectly. And the way he alternated between using punctuation and then not... simply genius!"

Brooks went on to write an article titled "Dullest Campaign Ever", in the aftermath of Nama's campaign defining comment. "It's just not interesting anymore. We all know after Nama's comment that there is no chance for Obama to pull it off. How can he, one man, overpower the Internet? It's not possible."

Since Nama's comments on June 21st, Obama and his advisers have unofficially brandished white flags. David Axelrod, Obama's Chief Political Advisor, is already content with throwing the campaign to the wind. "We have several debates and talks that we are contractually and financially obligated to fulfill. But if it weren't for that, we'd all be home sleeping in our beds right now."

Axelrod pointed out specific parts in Nama's post that were deadly to the campaign, such as - "If it [the economy getting worse] continues, Barack will LOSE BIG on november 6th 2012." And - "If greece or even europe's crises gets worse, it will be very bad for OBAMA and totally out of his control."

And here's the dagger, Axelrod says with a grimace. "If the economy dont improve from now until November, Barack Obama is in VERY SERIOUS trouble."

With over a decade in campaign experience, Axelrod's planning was no match for this level of online commentary. "Since June his comments have snowballed into a juggernaut of rhetorical destruction annihilating any HOPE we may have had left. We have nothing left to do but shake hands and say 'Good game' in November".

The Romney Camp is grateful for Nama's post and has decided to send the remaining $100 million in campaign funding to him for sealing the victory.

http://graphics.latimes.com/2012-election-electoral-map/