Dolphin Echolocation becomes new Hipster sensation

THE OCEAN - The elusive hipsters; where do they go? What do they do? Most importantly, whom do they listen to?

The age of independent music and movies has bred litters of non-conformists all over the United States and the world. These people will listen to Rachmaninoff and then Tan Vampires just to prove that they can, or because their iPods are on shuffle. They yearn to know about bands whose sounds are immune to mainstream influence.

They crave authenticity.

For years the contemporary subculture has scoured underground scenes in clubs and coffee shops, on vinyl and 8track, and in Portlands both Oregon and Maine. Now, hipsters are taking it to a whole new level - sea level.

The intelligence and playful attitude of dolphins has long made them popular animals in human culture. Dolphins use their clicks for echolocation, which makes their sounds "super authentic".

"Dolphins aren't down there clicking around trying to find record deals. They click in order to locate and identify objects around them like food and turtles to prank. And that, my friends, is as real as music gets," says Simon Harper, editor for Clash magazine.

"Hipsters are tired of having to be depressed and listen to struggling bands talking about being unsure of things. Those are people problems. It's time to get back to nature. Time to get true, raw underground stuff. And what's more underground than the mother effing ocean?!"

This new breed of hipsters, known as Flipsters, has been growing along with the increase in hydrophonic recording technologies. Flipsters are thanking Poseidon for this growth in variety of raw sound to be heard in the ocean.

Dolphins make three categories of sounds, which include frequency modulated whistles, burst-pulse sounds, and clicks. The clicks increase in frequency when approaching an object of desire. These variations provide a wide range of dolphin acoustics.

"Hipsters love coming off as nerds and caring. So if they can learn to decipher and appreciate echolocation, they can earn mega hipster points. Which are redeemable at most thrift shops."

According to many Flipsters, some of these dolphins have a mean flow. A particularly loud 'fin on the scene right now goes by the name Cori Olis, who has been streaming internationally and had a major effect on the movement.

"Cori Olis clicks in a way that most people can't appreciate. He does it for the movement," says one elusory Flipster sitting below the docks with a hydrophone. "He orca-strates killer clicks that really speak to the fun loving being in all living creatures."

Further adding, "Yeah I did that on porpoise."

The latest on subterranean culture's Dolphin Echolocation scene can be found at marine record stores which are located pretty much nowhere.