Mortal Kombat becoming popular Termination Policy

CHICAGO - "Finish Him!", "Your soul is mine!", and "Get over here!" are some of the more quotable lines from the classic video game Mortal Kombat. And now these quotes are being used by video game enthusiasts and human resources departments alike.

The new Mortal Kombat Policy has been adopted by several major corporations and small businesses throughout the United States. The new policy embraces a "hands-on" approach when terminating employees. This policy has been allowing upper management to get back back B to work faster than ever.

"It's been a fantastic addition to our work place. There is so much less wining now," says an early adopter of the new policy. "We used to hear out everyone's concerns. Now if they come to us with a problem, we just make them fight for their soul."

The system has cut down tremendously on paper and costly severance packages. What used to be a helping hand to get you back on your feet is now a crouched uppercut waiting to send you through the roof.

"Our employees are definitely on their best game now. They know that if they have any issues they had better have a good special move or fatality to back it up."

OSHA tried to intervene in the process, but they were quickly informed that the Elder Gods had already ruled for Mortal Kombat in Earthrealm and there was nothing they could do. The denizens of each department are allowed to rule the other departments only after consecutively defeating 10 of their best Monday warriors.

After losing several good employees who happened to be not so good at fighting for their lives, several of the companies have substituted the hand to hand combat portion for efficiency evaluations and productivity reports. The loss of souls however is still inherently included.

The policy has resulted in many professional fighters and formerly imprisoned murderers to be given high up positions in major organizations. Apple has just hired Jean-Claude Van Damme as their new Chief Operating Officer. That way if anyone challenges upper management, they're going to have to do it through Lionheart.