Financial Analysts Agree Goldman Sachs Kind of Funny Name

NEW YORK CITY - At the latest steering committee meeting, financial analysts agree that their employer, Goldman Sachs, has a pretty funny name.

"Goldman Sachs, huh? I suppose it is kind of a funny name. It's not that funny though, " retorted David Viniar, Executive VP & CFO.

The name elicits images of robbers with gold "sacks" of money running out of the White House. Or of Austin Powers' Goldmember running the company like an evil, Dutch genius with little number-crunching minions.

Critics agree that the Goldman Sachs name could be a whole lot funnier if chief officers in the company gave a damn and took some initiative. "That's the biggest problem with commercial banking these days. Especially in organizations like Goldman Sachs where they're practically running the government. They never think to innovate their names and have a little fun," says NY Times financial columnist Jessica Silver-Greenberg.

The analysts who came to this realization have elected for a new comment jar to be placed at the front desk of the Goldman Sachs headquarters in lower Manhattan. "It needs to remain anonymous. But they need to consider these suggestions seriously. Our name could be a whole lot funnier, which would benefit everyone." believes an anonymous suggester.

In an attempt to limit paperwork from changing the company's New York Stock Exchange symbol of GS, contributors to the new name are asked to keep within the current acronym of GS. This will provide some structure and simplicity to the name change.

Goldmember Supremacy, Guggenheimer Smells, and Goldenmustard Stains are all acceptable and popular nominations.

The Box for Sachs will be accepting any and all entries through the month of October in a gold dig for the name that will lead it into a bright, new future. The steering committee will then reconvene to laugh test the best names on soulless accountants. For now, people will have to remain content with thoughts of Johan van der Smut insider trading pieces of his own flaky skin for 4.44 billion dollars annually. Or of saxophone legend Bleeding Gums Murphy decked out in chains like Flavor Flav.